For some reason, many people believe that the ability to speak articulately is an important prerequisite to achievement. Without downgrading the importance of good speech habits, it would do us well to upgrade the importance and quality of our listening habits. Disreali noted that "Nature has given us two ears but only one mouth." This may be nature's way of telling us that listening is vital to our personal growth and development. Active listening is the complement to good questions.

Volumes have been written on the art of public speaking, how to deliver exciting speeches, and even how to exercise your vocal cords in order to have a pleasant voice. But little has been written or presented on "how to listen for understanding." If we agree that empathy and understanding are important traits, then we realize too, that it is impossible to find out what someone else is thinking or feeling if we are doing all of the talking. Listening, then, becomes and "empathy" skill.

In order for you to integrate good listening habits into your personal communication, you must know some of the "how-to's" of listening and some of the to "listen fors." The listening tips presented here will help you to sharpen your listening ability and sensitivity to the feelings of others:

1. Take time to listen. There are many things in life which can be heard that are not available through written sources. Your knowledge of local or national affairs may be broadened considerably by taking a moment out to listen to a conversation, a luncheon speaker, or a member of your family. When you are alone in a public place, "tuning-in" on a nearby conversation is excellent practice.

2. Be attentive. What people talk about is an indication of what is important to them. Whether or not you agree on the importance, any lack of attention will be perceived as a lack of respect for their thoughts, opinions, and themselves.

3. Listen with an open mind. When you open your mind and approach a topic from the other person's point of view, you have a good chance to round out a complete picture of the facts surrounding a situation. Once you prove yourself capable of doing this, the other person is inclined to want to be as fair and open-minded as you.

4. Listen for feelings. People tend to repeat those things that are important to them. Listen not only to what they say, but how they say it. Voices express emotion through pitch, intonation, hesitation, and speed of delivery. By listening to what people say and how they say it, you will discover the feelings behind the words.

5. Listen for retention. How often have you wanted to tell a good joke that you had heard, but simply couldn't remember anything but the punch line? If you do not consciously convey to your mind the thoughts that you hear, you will recall little of what is said. Advertising copy on radio and TV is read at a speed of 150 words per minute. However, advertising agencies know that the human mind can comprehend ideas much faster than that.

Source: Resource Associates Corporation & Sorrell Associates, LLC. All rights reserved worldwide. This material shall not be copied by any means without the express written consent of Resource Associates Corporation. 740-824-4842.

MickeyWasserman
Michael Wasserman & Associates, Inc.